-Monday, June 20, 2005-Monday, June 20, 2005 Y
How boring it is wen one starts studying.K fine. I'm bored here. No. I'm tired of reading.1 wk more to common test and ill be freed once again! HAH! Kiddin'. I still gt a lot more to prepare for e next exam - PROMOS! But first thing, i nd to claim my pay from my so-called workplace. Wat kinda attitude sey those ppl hav in dem! I mean they shud be havin dis responsibility to hand over my pay rite?! Great powers come along great responsibilities. Yeah rite.. Poor management spoils everythg! Wats e use of havin great "powers" if u cant fulfill ur responsibilities rite? Haiz.. Wat cn I sae..I noe I hav e rights and all.. but not now lah.. nd to focus first den - protest! Haha. I gues i hav to go thru dis alone cos if were to do it wif other frens, gues i hav to do it now. To dem is now or nvr. and i cant deny dat cos the staff there hav been workin for months now and me... I'd stepped down last, last, last month i tink. Actuali i gt nothing to protest abt. I tink i cn solve dis "case" diplomatically cos e case is on my side. So if there's anything dat my ex-boss wanted to sae, he juz cant. And wen i said he cant, he cant. If he happen to rebel wat i hav to sae den its too bad. I hav to start protesting which is very unlikely to happen.So.. Yupz. Everything's in mind. Juz hav to wait for 10 days more. Good things come to those who wait.U-huh..
-Tuesday, June 14, 2005-Tuesday, June 14, 2005 Y
Its been a long time since i blogged. Ok fine.. Exaggeration...
Been bz lately.
Had to focus on grandma, the house chores, the arrival of Mama and EXAMS!
How stress can u b?
U tell me.
It hasnt been gd for me lately.
I'm not sure hw.
How to strive thru all of dis.
Tensions!
Hate it!
All commend patience, but none can endure to suffer.
And its true.
-Thursday, June 09, 2005-Thursday, June 09, 2005 Y
Ouch! My legs hurt badly ah.. Its aching still from yesterdae's trg. I did e full squat like 4x15 times. So wat do u expect...? Had a hard time sitting down...Speaking of yesterdae's trg, as usual i luv it.. But it was a bit tiring ah. And fun too! Esp abt e Li En thingy. Haha.. We shut her in the toilet and she had trouble getting out of e toilet. Hoe an and don helped farna n I by keepin' e door tight. I noe it was stoopid but it was -well - fun!Nearing the end, we had to do some physical trg like sprinting, squatting and sum bat thingy - don noe wat it's called. All of these are to build up strength power so dat we cn bat e ball n hit home run! Haha.. W!Den had sum watermelon. Out of e blue coach asked me whether i was in hockey before softball. After dat, he started to crap abt racism. But juz bcoz dere r a lot of mlys in hockey, ppl said dat they're racist. Well its true... thru our naked eyes... But we nvr noe e reasons behind dis so-called racism. Most ppl join bcoz of frens. Sum join out of pleasure n interest. While others - sumwhere out there - bcoz of race. Wateva it is, its their wish to do so. I cant stop dem, neither cn u!Since each person, as an individual, is the not-being of the other, it is never possible to eliminate non-understanding completely.
They're comin home tmr! Cant wait...! Helped a bit wit e cooking todae with Nenek. And it was so0o leceh! Ok i don like to cook. Esp wen there's a lot of cookin to b done :).Argh! I'm so0o tired~
-Monday, June 06, 2005-Monday, June 06, 2005 Y
Got softball trg juz now... Haiz... They reali bought watermelon for all of us to eat so as to hydrate ourselves during breaks and after trg ends. Dis afternoon wasnt dat hot. In fact, it was a very fine breezy afternoon. Unlike our trgs in the morning. It will be thirst-quenching if they brought watermelon during those times. But from now onwards, i tink, we're goin to buy watermelon. How interesting! Lol...I'm goin head over hills over dis guy. The crush dat I tot was over is not over - yet. Ok.. I still have a crush on him despite dat i stopped tokin abt him.. Now im starting all over again... Haiz! I cant bliv I stared at him for a few seconds!! I mean i juz stared at him without realising i was staring at him! Omg! But surprisingly he stared back for dat same moment. I hope he didnt tink dat im nutz for staring at him blankly.I was in trance after dat...4 days left for her return. I love you Mama. And Lala. Miss you guyz so0o much.
If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they dont, they never were.
-Saturday, June 04, 2005-Saturday, June 04, 2005 Y
Shud I get myself worried over studies or not? I noe dis is my 2nd chance in yr 1 and I SHUD gt worried over it... But tink again, why shud I? I mean I shud not be panicked whenever exams are coming cos if i were to be panic-strickened, i'll be dead! Noe y? Wen i'm nervous, i cant tink n i cant study. So dats hw i manage to do my O's wondrously. Cos I kept myself calm and serene. Hey! Serenity is my middle name!
Ok, focus on my point... I haven studied geog and physics - YET. And its like 3 wks away from common test. Each time I wanted to do my work, i juz cant do it... Don noe y... Guess im afraid of failing again... Its juz a phobia i guess...
Peepz! Pls! Tell me wat shud i do...?
"While we are focusing on fear, worry or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love."
That's my principle of success...
"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude detemines how well you do it."
It's all in the mind...
-Thursday, June 02, 2005-Thursday, June 02, 2005 Y
Cant bliv im getting the rashes back! I tot I cn survive by joining softball... n I noe I can... Hmm.. I juz hope my skin will juz turn back to its normal state. This is wat happen wen one has eczema. The sweat produced by the body will juz irritate one's skin and makes it itchy. And I will owaes scratch it each time it gets ithcy. haiz.. I got no control of myself...
I wonder why I cant control myself... I cant aim properly, neither can i toss properly. And im tokin abt my softball trg here. I'm not sure whether todae's trg went well or not.. i gt compliments from coach as well as critics.
He complimented dat i can swing further and harder. In other words, trying to say dat i gt strong arms. And i cud oso hit home run if i were given more trgs.
However he oso said dat i toss atrociously! I cant even toss like a few centimetres away from e batter! Dat is totali horrendous! But e few tosses at the end, i managed to improvise myself. And i did. Juz dat coach didnt see me improved. so sad..
Well dats not e point... The point is dat i tink i'm feelin lonely.. I juz feel like breaking down now... There's sumting missing in my life but i cant figure out wat issit. I juz hate it wen i gt dis sensation!
I miss U, Mama. And I miss u too Lala. And I miss e holy place on earth, Mecca. And i'm crying.